<\/a>ME: How’s business, Mr Dick?<\/p>\n\n\n\nMB: Call me Mo<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: How’s it going, Mo?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: Up and down – it’s my breathing<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: What is your business?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: Security<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: Protection?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: And crowd safety – over-excited dolphins at festivals<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: Family business?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: Yup, the Dicks are everywhere – security and government<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: Customers?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: Whales, dolphins and porpoises – “no job too big or too small”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: I thought that slogan was for plumbers and electricians?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: Dunno – we don’t have those down here. I knew an octopus hairdresser that had a sign saying “Do or Dye”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: How does it feel to be the greatest whale of all time?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: Just doing my job<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: But you saw off every whaling ship and destroyed the Pequod captained by Ahab?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: Have you been reading that nutter, Melville?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: Yes. Weren’t you afraid of Ahab and his killer team?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: Have you seen the size of me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: You’re in the greatest American novel – how does that feel?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: It was a flop for seven decades – rightly so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: The first 100 pages in Nantucket had the making of a fun, homo-erotic, buddies’ road movie and the last 50 starring me were epic. The other 500 pages were stodgy drivel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: But the symbolism?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: You don’t need 500 pages to explain white men’s power, greed, acquisition and suppression of anyone different or their destruction of our habitat. You can do it in one line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: Which is?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: It’s usually about oil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: Any advice to the revenge-seeking Captain Ahabs of this world?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MB: Look, if you find your wife in bed with Tyson Fury. Tuck him in nicely. Do not throw spears at him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME: Oh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
MY INTERVIEW WITH MOBY DICK No. 4 of my celebrity … Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":718,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"kt_blocks_editor_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-708","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorised"],"yoast_head":"\nMY CELEBRITY INTERVIEWS: 4. 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